We Are Who We Are: A Real, risque and refreshing coming-of-age narrative

Warning: very minor spoilers ahead for the first season of WRWWR

Luca Guadagnino’s ‘We Are Who We Are’ dodges all expectations. As soon as I heard about this new project from the ‘Call Me By Your Name’ director, I was instantly excited - it was so far from what I anticipated, but in the best way possible. The HBO series is a daringly crude coming of age depiction with an immersive soundtrack, set in a fictional military camp (which was actually designed for the show!). Guadagnino explores questions of sexuality and gender fluidity amongst a vast array of issues faced by modern youth. The eight part series follows two 14 year olds: Fraser Wilson, a troubled New York-born fashionista with two mothers and a music taste beyond his years, and Caitlin/Harper Poythress, a keen poet who questions her femininity as a young teen. Guadagnino also delves into other characters on the base, touching on issues of religious and cultural identity, and therefore diversifying the whole coming of age genre. This is why ‘We Are Who We Are’ feels like a breath of fresh air. As the show progresses, we find ourselves confronted with a barrage of questions surrounding youth and identity, the central one being: are labels really worth it?

The show has an interesting cast, with Jack Dylan Grazer (known for his role as the hypochondriac Eddie in IT) as Fraser, Jordan Kristine Seamon as Caitlin, and notably the multi talented Kid Cudi as Caitlin’s father. One of the primary reasons why the show feels so authentic is because the characters are played by actual teenagers, and not actors in their late twenties (take notes, Riverdale). Jack Dylan Grazer nails the portrayal of a restless teenager, using much of the same agitated mannerisms as Timothee Chalamet’s Elio. The exchanges between Fraser and Caitlin feel natural - the conversations are stilted and sometimes awkward, but that’s what makes them so familiar. If you want to make friends with someone, you don’t stare at them from across the classroom or from your bedroom window, and you don’t follow them to a bar and conceal yourself in plain sight. Nevertheless, that’s what Fraser does, because he is fourteen and knows nothing about social interaction. However, he’s in luck because rather than being irked by this, Caitlin/Harper grows evermore intrigued. They bond instantly and it had me feeling as though I'd missed an entire episode since the whole buildup is glossed over, but perhaps it was Guadagnino's intention to not put a time span on their friendship, giving the impression that Fraser and Caitlin have known each other forever. Caitlin is the only one who fully understands Fraser’s idiosyncrasies, and the two connect rapidly through a mutual appreciation for the arts, but their dialogue never feels pretentious. Even their most poetic lines are delivered in a freeing, contagiously charming way:

“We don’t exist! We don’t exist! We don’t exist!”

The fashion choices in this show are a primary way in which Fraser and Caitlin choose to express themselves. Fraser is not afraid to wear bright colours and unconventional items of clothing. He obviously comes from wealth, but he makes a point of maintaining longevity with clothing and has a personal affinity with everything he owns, quoting “fast fashion equals fast feelings”. Caitlin likes to wear her father's shirts and dress as a boy - this is where she is most comfortable. Both her and Fraser are dying to express themselves, and they find a form of catharsis in each other. Both their choices of clothing transcend the boundaries of gender, without seeming to make an overt statement - they just wear what they want without fear of judgement, because they each have the support and encouragement of one another.

One of the most complex and confusing relationships within the show is the one between Fraser and his mother, Sarah, which took me by surprise immediately. By the end of the first season, we’re still grasping for straws as to where this strenuous relationship will end up; it is filled with slapping and hair-pulling which feels difficult to watch since it’s not characteristic of your standard mother-son dynamic. Following a family dinner which Caitlin is invited to, Fraser is furious at Sarah for embarrassing him in front of his new friend. He displays his frustration in a single shot, well choreographed scene which depicts the physical as well as figurative distance between him and Sarah. Sarah Wilson is a fascinating character because she is an army general and acts as “mother and father at the same time” to Fraser, as she describes herself. She is therefore the subject of a tremendous level of pressure from not only her immediate family, but from the base and the soldiers whose lives she holds in the palm of her hand.

Each character is rich and complex, and serves their own unique purpose. As mentioned previously, Guadagnino delves into a diverse range of narratives; despite having limited screen time, Caitlin’s older brother Danny is shown to become intrigued by Islam. There’s one particular scene which I found to be one of the most emotional in the series, where he lays a prayer mat down on the ground amidst a severe downpour. He splashes himself with water in the cleansing procedure called ‘wudhu’ which precedes prayer. There’s no need for any dialogue here, all we need is to see that Danny finds solace in spirituality following a personal tragedy. Personally, I find it to be one of the most poignant moments of the entire series, and encapsulates the idea that 'finding yourself' as a young person is a constant journey.

The immersive nature of this show owes itself partly to the stellar soundtrack, and the choice of music is just as important as the choice of clothing. There's plenty of Prince, Bowie and Radiohead. The eighties synth pop sound is also characteristic of Guadagnino’s Call Me By Your Name. WRWWR is also scored by the brilliant Dev Hynes, who works under the pseudonym Blood Orange. Hynes himself also makes an appearance on the show, in a concert in the season finale (I know who I’m going to see once this nearly year long pandemic is over). Along with fashion, music is a key way in which characters express themselves on the show. One of the most captivating scenes and examples of the power of music came later in the series: in which Fraser and Caitlin recreate the music video for Hynes’ ‘Time Will Tell’, evoking a powerful sense of nostalgia and youthful playfulness. Being fourteen, and being a teenager in general, is a confusing time. Nonetheless, music helps to capture the many conflicting emotions of these years and put one’s intangible feelings into words.

“Time will tell if you can figure this and work it out, no one's waiting for you anyway, so don’t be stressed now.”

Like most stories, WRWWR reflects on the charming mysticism of teenage self realisation, but nothing I’ve ever watched before has been quite like this. It is so refreshing to see a coming of age narrative that isn’t from an exclusively white perspective. Most people will find they do, or have in the past, related to at least one or more of the characters in the show. This show acknowledges that sometimes labels can do more harm than good, and dotes on the magical rawness of love. After all, we are who we are.

Slight disclaimer: The show involves a lot of full frontal nudity, most of which actually occurs in the first episode of the show, but it diminishes from that point on so don’t be squirming in your seats!

Currently streaming on iPlayer